"Oh you know, that is just how I roll," I answer because really, I do not know why I do the things I do. Hard things don't seem so hard at the time. Volunteering in Calcutta and Kenya, adopting a child from Ukraine whilst super sick and pregnant. Caring for my baby in NICU while recovering and caring for my 2 three year olds, marrying a British man . .most of that I have been able to take in stride.
"Um, what are you doing with the boys today during Opie's doctor appointment?" I look at my husband blankly. "Beck, I have that meeting today, remember? I did tell you. I did."
"But I scheduled that appointment during nap time so I could just go. I wrote it on the white board. When was this meeting set up?" Panic starts to set in. I have no back up plan.. I guess the boys will have to come with me to Opie's appointment today, during naptime. DURING NAPTIME. No good ever comes from children missing naptime. None.Can I bully dear hubby into canceling his meeting? Of course not and I should not try, right?
"It was scheduled weeks ago. I DID tell YOU. Sorry but you are making me defensive."
Sigh, he probably did tell me. I have no way of remembering things like that. . . THIS. THIS will send me over the edge.
I charge headlong into difficult situations, willing and able to make it work; and for the most part I succeed. IN day to day life however, I look for the path of least resistant. Drive thrus are a given, walk in to order? Are you crazy? I will circle a parking lot looking for the spot closest to the grocery store, church or doctor's office. If I can avoid three more steps, heck yes, I will! I would gladly spend my time watching movies on my comfy sofa, until the next super hard situation presents itself.
Wrangle two 3 year olds and my preemie to the doctor?
Side note: In looking for a picture of an exploding head I came across something interesting. A syndrome. Exploding Head Syndrome. I am not a hypochondriac in the slightest, but by the name alone, I think I must have this syndrome. Perhaps it is a left over gift from my pre-eclampsia?
[From Wikipedia] Exploding head syndrome is a form of hypnagogic auditory hallucination in which the sufferer sometimes experiences a sudden loud noise coming from within their own head. The noise is brief and is usually likened to an explosion, roar, gunshot, door slamming, loud voices or screams, a ringing noise, the sound of electrical arcing (buzzing) or a thud.This condition is thought to be brought on by stress and fatigue. See? Check! Check! Not a hypochondriac.
Women suffer from this more than men. . .check again! It fits. . . I am not lazy, I am simply trying to keep my head from exploding! I clearly have a syndrome.
Okay, kind of humorous and rad, if you ask me. The brain is so amazing, even if it is exploding inside your head on a regular basis. Sadly, this explosion commonly happens right after falling asleep. Not so rad, do NOT mess with my sleep. My head will have to keep exploding during daylight hours.
****really, if someone here has this syndrome, I am sorry. I mean no disrespect or harm.